Horatio Caine’s Shades Of Justice

Near the top of my annoyances when it comes to being an NFL fan is hearing how wonderful someone’s fantasy football team has “performed.”

Let me instead tell you how wonderful my fantasy football team performed.

Fantasy football has to be one of the all-time biggest crimes against time one can commit.

I actually had three teams this season.

You may have heard a while back there was discussion in US legislative and court rooms alike as to whether fantasy sports are contests of skill or luck. My opinion is that depends upon your definition of skill. Do you consider it a skill to make sure players are actually playing…a skill to know which players are healthy…a skill to recognize which players available are performing well?

Might there not be a fair share of luck involved? Maybe even a 50-50 split?

Waaaaay more luck than skill I say.

I was playing fantasy football before the Internet was invented.

An exaggeration. But I have been at it now for nineteen years. I can’t say with certainty how much time I’ve wasted on this activity in that time but I made sure I had a partner in time crime…my wife.

Folks, you can’t get dinged for wasting time if you’re wasting time together…

If you doubt luck is a massive contributor to fantasy football success…I’ve been in leagues where owners have decided to abandon teams shortly after their seasons started…and they still won half their games. I’ve been in leagues where owners have not replaced players off and/or injured for multiple weeks…and they still won multiple games.

And then there’s the tail-end of reality’s regular season where the sheer lunacy of participating in fantasy football contests epically plays out…when players stop playing. Some NFL teams have little or nothing to play for at season’s end so fantasy team owners – competing for their league championships – scramble to guess which players might play…let alone might play well. Even with many fantasy leagues ending their seasons a week before the NFL ends theirs…NFL teams out of contention in December will shut injured players down earlier. NFL teams in contention in December will also shut injured players down earlier in the hope they’ll heal by the time their championship competition commences.

Guessing is a core component of fantasy football success. Those who make a living from offering fantasy football “advice” are providing at least one valuable service…giving weather forecasters some self-esteem. Those who made a living off of predicting weather all these years kept wondering and praying someone would come along whose predictions would mean less…cue those fantasy football “experts.”

Why play?

I suppose it’s no different from other gambles that present themselves at the lottery machine, at the track, at the casino. It’s a high to get any win in life whether or not an exchange of money is even involved…or even how little you contributed towards it.

And of course, often there’s the camaraderie of a spouse, your family and your friends all trying to do the same thing…gain bragging rights as you hopefully luck into more wins than losses.

But enough of throwing shade upon fantasy football.

Flash back to late summer when the TV at home started to inexplicably show reruns of CSI: Miami, a globally-successful television series known for its flashy visuals, beautiful people…and a pair of sunglasses.

This brings us to the title of this post.

The lead character on CSI: Miami is Lieutenant Horatio Caine. Played by David Caruso, Caine’s quirky mannerisms in and out of his crime lab included working his trademark shades off and on. He usually delivered killer lines about killers while his sunglasses were going one way or the other.

For some unknown reason I decided to name one of my fantasy football teams in their honor.

“Horatio Caine’s Shades Of Justice” won its league, finishing with a record of 14-1. As well, an average margin of victory of almost thirty points per game. It was a truly dominating performance by “SOJ” from beginning to end. The greatest fantasy football team I’ve ever owned.

That kind of season couldn’t simply be a by-product of just good luck, could it?

Maybe some skill was involved after all?

My other two teams? Both finished 7-8.

I’m telling ya if they hadn’t had bad luck they wouldn’t have had any luck at all.

 

 

 

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About sportsattitudes

I'm Bruce. Born, raised and still outside Philadelphia PA. Managed (so far) to visit a dozen US states (most just one time each) and Canada (twice). 50-plus years - married 30-plus years. Love massive quantities of sports, television and movies (viewed in a movie theater).
This entry was posted in Family, Fantasy Football, Football, Humor, Life, NFL, Pro Football, Sports, Television, TV and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Horatio Caine’s Shades Of Justice

  1. Not sure about fantasy football 🙂 but glad to see Horatio Caine back in the spotlight (even if it doesn’t air til midnight here!)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. spearfruit says:

    Well done SOJ and Bruce.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Paul says:

    I stay away from fantasy football. Fantasy hockey and basketball already feel like full time jobs. I think the skill part comes into play during the draft and when picking up free agents. Everything else is luck, prayer, and crossing fingers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You do have full time jobs with basketball and hockey. Tried each in the past – even baseball – but couldn’t keep pace. Until Thursday Night Football came along the NFL was perfect for Fantasy…most every game in one nice tidy weekend package. Best of luck with your teams.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        I did baseball once but it was too much every single day.
        And thank you! Currently clinging to a first place record of 11-1 in hockey and 7-3 in basketball which is good for a 5 team logjam at the top of the standings….

        Liked by 1 person

  4. That is a stellar team name! I wish I had thought of it myself.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. George says:

    I did fantasy football years ago before it really blew up and decided it was just too time consuming. Besides, I was pretty much ignorant about personnel after the third round.
    Then it came to having to decide who you wanted to play each week, checking injury reports, schedules, etc.
    it was overwhelming. People keep on wanting to pull me back in but I refuse. I want to root for who I want to root for without worrying about whether if their game is going to negatively affect my Sunday.
    More power to you, Bruce. …:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • George, I’d like to say you reap more rewards the more you put into it but that’s simply not true. I’ve paid less attention some years and done very well…others I’ve poured my heart into with little to show for the effort. The effect it has had on “fandom” is certainly a topic for discussion also. I know folks who are more interested now in watching “Red Zone” on Sunday afternoons than actual games…as an Eagles fan I am sure you can understand if I’m swaying in that direction. 🙂

      Like

  6. 😄 love your article! My brother and his friends are big into fantasy football and I never got it or understood why.
    But after reading this and they way you laid it out, I get it!!😅 awesome!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. garym6059 says:

    Aarond Rodgers? Ezekial Elliott? I bet it was Frank Gore that did the heavy lifting for the SOJ!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The heavy lifters for the year (when playing) were Drew Brees, LeSean McCoy, David Johnson and Mike Evans. Tom Brady was a back-up QB who I spot started after he came off suspension. I doubt I’ll ever have a team as strong again so I’m still wearing my shades even in the rain. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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