Near the top of my annoyances when it comes to being an NFL fan is hearing how wonderful someone’s fantasy football team has “performed.”
Let me instead tell you how wonderful my fantasy football team performed.
Fantasy football has to be one of the all-time biggest crimes against time one can commit.
I actually had three teams this season.
You may have heard a while back there was discussion in US legislative and court rooms alike as to whether fantasy sports are contests of skill or luck. My opinion is that depends upon your definition of skill. Do you consider it a skill to make sure players are actually playing…a skill to know which players are healthy…a skill to recognize which players available are performing well?
Might there not be a fair share of luck involved? Maybe even a 50-50 split?
Waaaaay more luck than skill I say.
I was playing fantasy football before the Internet was invented.
An exaggeration. But I have been at it now for nineteen years. I can’t say with certainty how much time I’ve wasted on this activity in that time but I made sure I had a partner in time crime…my wife.
Folks, you can’t get dinged for wasting time if you’re wasting time together…
If you doubt luck is a massive contributor to fantasy football success…I’ve been in leagues where owners have decided to abandon teams shortly after their seasons started…and they still won half their games. I’ve been in leagues where owners have not replaced players off and/or injured for multiple weeks…and they still won multiple games.
And then there’s the tail-end of reality’s regular season where the sheer lunacy of participating in fantasy football contests epically plays out…when players stop playing. Some NFL teams have little or nothing to play for at season’s end so fantasy team owners – competing for their league championships – scramble to guess which players might play…let alone might play well. Even with many fantasy leagues ending their seasons a week before the NFL ends theirs…NFL teams out of contention in December will shut injured players down earlier. NFL teams in contention in December will also shut injured players down earlier in the hope they’ll heal by the time their championship competition commences.
Guessing is a core component of fantasy football success. Those who make a living from offering fantasy football “advice” are providing at least one valuable service…giving weather forecasters some self-esteem. Those who made a living off of predicting weather all these years kept wondering and praying someone would come along whose predictions would mean less…cue those fantasy football “experts.”
I suppose it’s no different from other gambles that present themselves at the lottery machine, at the track, at the casino. It’s a high to get any win in life whether or not an exchange of money is even involved…or even how little you contributed towards it.
And of course, often there’s the camaraderie of a spouse, your family and your friends all trying to do the same thing…gain bragging rights as you hopefully luck into more wins than losses.
But enough of throwing shade upon fantasy football.
Flash back to late summer when the TV at home started to inexplicably show reruns of CSI: Miami, a globally-successful television series known for its flashy visuals, beautiful people…and a pair of sunglasses.
This brings us to the title of this post.
The lead character on CSI: Miami is Lieutenant Horatio Caine. Played by David Caruso, Caine’s quirky mannerisms in and out of his crime lab included working his trademark shades off and on. He usually delivered killer lines about killers while his sunglasses were going one way or the other.
For some unknown reason I decided to name one of my fantasy football teams in their honor.
“Horatio Caine’s Shades Of Justice” won its league, finishing with a record of 14-1. As well, an average margin of victory of almost thirty points per game. It was a truly dominating performance by “SOJ” from beginning to end. The greatest fantasy football team I’ve ever owned.
That kind of season couldn’t simply be a by-product of just good luck, could it?
Maybe some skill was involved after all?
My other two teams? Both finished 7-8.
I’m telling ya if they hadn’t had bad luck they wouldn’t have had any luck at all.